oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
