well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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