i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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