You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
...so i touched it.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
