I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
