Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
