Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize