It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i out mim tonsoeep
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