I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
