im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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