I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
