is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
