His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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