Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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