2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
