you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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