dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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