you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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