so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
