i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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