I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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