I accidentally had phone sex last night
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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