I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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