its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
