So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
