he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
