spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
as a side note pls kill me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
