just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
