the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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