I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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