my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
