I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
