Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
