I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
