I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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