Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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