i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
