Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize