listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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