ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
