I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize