Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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