My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
