worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
