So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize