I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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