apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
