She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
