she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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