David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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