fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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