I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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