Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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