His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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