Sry I called you an 8
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
