I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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