i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
