I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
