Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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