Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
