How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
