Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
