How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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