Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize