You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize