why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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