is your mom at the bar?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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