hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
