Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this just has baby written all over it
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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